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A television grab of
Prime Minister Narendra Modi in the Lok Sabha. The Congress’s fury has been
roused by Narendra Modi’s rhetoric. It believes he’s been rude to Manmohan
Singh.(PTI)
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The Congress is
hopping mad. The Party’s fury has been roused by Narendra Modi’s rhetoric. It
believes he’s been rude to Manmohan Singh. It’s demanded an apology and if that
isn’t forthcoming, the Congress has decided to boycott the Prime Minister when
parliament reconvenes.
The truth is that like
many of us the Congress lacks a sense of humour. Mr. Modi’s turn of phrase may
not have been brilliant but it was undoubtedly witty. And, of course, it was a
put down. That, after all, is the intent of repartee.
The problem is we love
a good joke at someone else’s expense but when we’re the butt it’s perceived as
an insult and we bristle with self-righteousness. That’s precisely how the
Congress is behaving.
In contrast, just look
at how British politicians, including serving and former prime ministers, have
referred to each other down the centuries. As far back as the 18th, when the
4th Earl of Sandwich angrily said to John Wilkes “Sir, I don’t know whether you
will die on the gallows or of the pox” this was the reply the First Lord of the
Admiralty had to contend with: “That depends, my Lord, on whether I embrace
your Lordship’s principles or your mistress.”
My favourite are the
exchanges between William Gladstone and Benjamin Disraeli, who were competing
prime ministers in the late 19th century. This is how Disraeli once described
Gladstone: “A sophistical rhetorician inebriated with the exuberance of his own
verbosity and gifted with an egotistical imagination that can at all times
command an interminable and inconsistent series of arguments to malign an
opponent and to glorify himself.”
History does not
record Gladstone’s replies but, thankfully, that did not deter Disraeli. On a
famous occasion, when he was attempting to distinguish a misfortune from a
calamity, he said: “If Gladstone fell into Thames, that would be a misfortune,
and if anyone pulled him out, that, I suppose, would be a calamity.”
Read: Congress fury over PM Modi’s
Manmohan ‘raincoat’ jibe threatens to stall Parliament
This tradition of
ribbing prime ministers has become a revered part of British parliamentary
practice. Clement Freud dubbed Margaret Thatcher “Attila the Hen”. Norman St.
John-Stevas called her “The Blessed Margaret”. Nicholas Fairbairn said of John
Major: “He’s more a ventriloquist’s dummy than a prime minister.” Whilst
Churchill described Attlee as “a sheep in sheep’s clothing”.
The truth is all sorts
of insults have been bandied about in the House of Commons. They include cad,
stool pigeon, guttersnipe, snivelling little jerk and – the delightful –
semi-house-trained polecat. Rarely does the person so addressed demand an
apology. Indeed, that was also true when John Davies was called “a fat-arsed
twit” by a fellow Labour MP!
Even the most dour
have been capable of delicious flights of wit. Harold Wilson once said of his
own cabinet colleague: “Tony Benn is the only man I know who immatures with
age.” Dennis Healey dismissed an attack by Geoffrey Howe with the piercing
remark it’s “like being savaged by a dead sheep.”
Read: Congress says it won’t let Modi
speak in Parliament unless he says sorry to Manmohan, Rahul attacks PM
So, instead of whining
when they’re bested by their opponents, the Congress should learn the art of
giving one better than they get. But if that’s not possible, try and smile
through clenched teeth. Throwing a tantrum isn’t just childish it’s also a sure
sign you can’t take a joke.
Or would the Congress
prefer Mr. Modi to borrow a phrase from the good Rev. Spooner and call them
“shining wits”?
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